a pure pure pure tired girl...

I just wanted to say that I realize now how much I am still messing up my life that I continue to push away the people that I am getting close too. I feel as if the closer i am getting to a person i just keep pushing them away lately. I do not mean too. I just want to understand...so if i have pushed you away...please please please dont feel bad. I am trying to not do this and I really feel super bad about it all.

bleh...

I guess you can call it encouragement...

I was looking at a few things and I found this...this has been a hard semester and I just really relate to this. 

I just feel like it is really hard for me to trust him. While all of this sounds great...i just wish in my heart that I truly felt what this is saying. I hate that I know I should feel his presence and know he has things in his hands but I don't believe it. I am just a hypocrite. Why do I help others when I need to make sure that I am keeping the faith. I am trying to work on this. Tis been really rough days.

Tonight is one of those nights where I wonder if this is why I am here. Am I even accomplishing what I need to? I feel as if I seem to fail at a lot of what I do and then i go and make things with certain people difficult. I want to feel that warm loving hug in my heart. I want the hole I have been feeling in my heart to fill. I am just confused and really want some answers.

sincerely,

an impatient and overly exhausted Malea

Restless...

spring break come soon...


spring break come even sooner...


spring break come even even sooner...


I am going crazy here on campus. Ready to go somewhere else and just relax and lay by the beach.


two weeks till florida!

Those darn trying times...

When.Does.Life.Stop.Battering.A.Person?

It seems that these past few weeks have been nothing but constant troubles entering my life and disrupting the peacefulness that it was. With dealing with great sickness and trying to get better to my car messing up and breaking down all the time...I am at my wits end. There have been many times where I just wanted to give up and do nothing but escape from the world. I have tried but life always seems to find you where you hide.

One way to look at a situation such as this would be to see this as a growing experience in my physical life and my spiritual life. While I am learning how to be an adult and deal with all of these adult things, I am finding people to be around and help me learn just how to get through these times. It is also a good time for me to think and find trust on my lord and savior. While these things are entering my life, I should be holding onto the fathers hope and know that it will all work out.

I am trying to look at the positives of all of these situations. It is really hard to see. I just thought that since I really took a look at my life and changed how it was going to be this semester that it would be better and less stressful. Boy was I wrong. It has been way more stressful...more life events have entered my life taking up the academic stress that I was holding onto during last semester. I know it will get better I just need to hold on and look into the positive.

Oh life...

A heavy heart